About Matthew

Matthew D. Brown is a technologist, humour writer, and author of “The Fictional Dictionary of Bad Language“. He is working on a novel and is currently looking for an agent.

Matthew D. Brown (aka Lord Matt)

Writer extraordinaire, part-time scholar, self-confessed genius, research theologian, possible time traveller, keeper of secrets, and alleged immortal specialising in the tasting of sundry alcoholic beverages.

The difficult done relatively swiftly
The impossible takes considerably longer
Miracles strictly by appointment

Gentlemanly hats worn
Ale kegs emptied
Tall tales told
Algerian hyper-tigers tamed
Oxford commas used willingly

Virtual mountains climbed
Opinions opined
Governments run
Bad puns used gleefully

Gods debated by appointment

Disasters averted: 27.4
World saved twice at no extra charge

Who is this Matthew Brown character, really?

Matthew is a developer from Thanet, Kent. He suffers from a degenerative spine condition that hurts quite a bit and stops him doing much. Yet, while his body might not be free, his mind certainly is.

Matthew is the current lead dev for Author Buzz. He also blogs for Author Buzz, Thanet Star, and on The Fantastic Site of Lord Matt, super geek. When he is not blogging or writing code, Matt likes to write fiction. You might say writing is Matthew’s main passion in life. Were you to say that you’d probably be right too.

Matthew is dyslexic (which means his spelling is just the worst) but never one to let that hold him back, he loves writing anyway. Matthew chairs a local writers group which he helped to found back in 2013. He started it because for years he wanted to attend a writers’ group and couldn’t find one. Since then, he has discovered there are a whole bunch – which is just typical.

Matthew Brown’s preferred genres

Matthew is a big geek who loves Science Fiction and Fantasy. He likes hard sci-fi and softer space opera stuff too. Anything that’s good for daydreaming and asking questions like “what if…?”

Matthew’s work has been favourably compared to Douglas Adams more than once. This made him grin like a loon because he loves Douglas Adams’ work.

His first two stories (on this site) are “Legend” (magic and folktales) and “That Story with the cat in” (very, very soft and silly sci-fi). However, sitting on his hard drive is a huge cache of novels and short stories in various states of readiness.

  • Oh crap, not another one – a novel about Vampires that is frankly a bit weak.
  • The Reluctant Wizard – a satirical romp through things Matthew daydreamed about including something that looks like Jedi’s vs Daleks. (No really).
  • The Reluctant Druid – the story of a drug taking looser who has to make something of himself because he may or may not be the promised one. Guess what it is a tangential sequel to…
  • The Last Boy – This one is actually pretty good even if it does build on ideas set up in the other three weaksauce attempts.
  • Maud – this is a novel that Matthew is working on with the intention of submitting it to an actual publisher. It’s about as close to “serious” writing as he has come.

What they, and the stories published here, have in common is that they are linked. How they are linked is complicated.


This is a story that riffs on folktales and is not what you think it is. Each chapter is just long enough to be interesting and just short enough to read on a coffee break. The protagonist is called Malial.

Everything you think you know about this story is wrong.

The story with the cat in it

This story was written purely to have fun. It borrows characters from other works in progress. The cat is called Normal. It talks.

You are probably right about most of the assumptions you make about this story. Unless you are wrong.

Matthew’s blog

Matthew’s Author Buzz blog exists only for him to share his stories. He has other blogs for politics, code, geekiness, random thoughts, dieting, making money, and… Damn! Does this guy like to blog, or what?

If you have enjoyed his stories here then subscribe to the blog and you will be notified when there are new entries.

Alternatively, you can follow him on Author Buzz where he is very active on the Author Buzz forums.

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