Info for agents and publishers

See also: My about page

Facts, numbers, and other stuff a prospective publisher or agent might find compelling or interesting (I hope).

Just for fun, I created a webcomic about beans exploring a dungeon. I update it sometimes.

Reach, in numbers


Across my two main Twitter accounts (I have many), there are 6,845 followers [last checked 08-06-2023].


When I post on Mastodon everyone who is online will see it. Twitter, on the other hand, shows only those people it wants to show. So I worked out a conservative estimate of the value of a Mastodon follow to a Twitter one. Taking the best post on Twitter and its views earned (45) I doubled that and then divided my follower count by that value. This gave me a mathematical estimate of the relative Mastodon to Twitter follower value. This estimate is that 1 follower on Mastodon is equal to at least 14.589 followers (conservative) on Twitter but maybe as much as 29.178 (raw data). I used these to calculate a Twitter-adjusted Mastodon follower index factor. Multiply that by my current Mastodon follower count of 485 to get my Twitter-adjusted Mastodon follower index. [last checked 09-06-2023].

My Twitter-adjusted Mastodon follower index is 7,075.67 to 14,151.33

While the raw numbers do not reflect it, I gain more value (and interactions with real people) from Mastodon. In conclusion, Mastodon is 15x to 30x times better than Twitter.

I chair a charity I started to encourage writing and creative expression – Thanet Creative

Claims to fame

Weird and interesting things that have happened to me, because of me, or right next to me.

Vic Reeves stole my hat(s).

I like hats – especially top hats. I also have a large skull so getting hats in my size is hard. There is a shop in Canterbury that sells top hates (Revivals). It took several visits before I could get myself a top hat because each time I visited, Vic Reeves had been there first and brought all the top hats in our size.

Random girls stole my hat

I went out on my own one Friday afternoon. Got given free beer at a bar because the barmaid was annoyed that the owner had not come back even though her shift was over.

Said barmaid and I went to another pub, met some mutual friends, and then went to a few clubs. At Totally Wired many attractive ladies tried my hat on (the black leather one).

I joked that my hat was more popular than me. So I made a Facebook page for the hat.

I was an expert presenter

Back in the day, there was a website called where you could find articles and videos about stuff. I worked with a filmmaker to produce a series of presentations on the C++ programming language.

The editor for the C++ section emailed me thanking me for a high-quality contribution. He subscribed to my blog which he also liked.

Something I have kept secret is that I learned the information needed to present the video about ten minutes before we shot it. It helped that I was a professional programmer in a different coding language and most such domain knowledge is transferable.

Professor Elemental stole my top hat in Brighton

Professor Elemental stole my hat during the part of the performance where he freestyle-rapped about things the audience gave him. (He gave it back later).

I got to hang out with Professor Elemental and Mr B the Gentleman Rhymer after the show. I was in an ungodly amount of pain that day but it was totally worth it.

Got myself in the local paper and it was not hat related

There is a junction near my home. Every few years there is a nasty accident there because you cannot see on-coming traffic from the right.

My mother, two sisters and unborn niece were almost lost to that junction.

I started a petition to have a mirror placed opposite so that drivers could see to the right. Kent County Council said no on the grounds of health and safety.

The local paper ran an article about my campaign.

I once tried to make a famous Christian band leave the venue they were to perform in.

I was a steward for the Christian convention Spring Harvest. My team ran the venue where Phatfish would be playing. Not recognising the band members, I asked them to leave as the venue was not open.

They had to convince me they were the band. Whoops.

In my role as Chair of Thanet Creative, I organised a four-day series of writing and creative workshops for children. It was exhausting and incredibly fulfilling. I would like to organise some more soon.


I’m not sure what I will put here yet.

I created a comprehensive setting in which I run D&D games for my friends.

Photos of me being vaguely interesting

I created a social site and forum for authors and readers to mingle – Author Buzz UK – it also hosts blogs such as this one. I put a lot of work into making sure that author-related headlines appear on the front page.

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