Using fictional rude words works one of two ways – either it adds to the story or utterly spoils it. Coming up with appropriate swears is hard enough, especially if you cannot actually use real swears. I keep a digital notebook of rude word ideas for use in fiction.
Here is a selection of fictional rude words that you may use for free (if you credit me).
A fine selection of fictional rudeness.
Bibblist
- A person who continues to drink their beverage as loudly as possible even after you have threatened to beat them to death with it.
- The sort of pretentious chiff box that insists on loudly sipping wine to show how much they are appreciating it. See also chiff.
Bibble means to eat or drink noisily.
Chiff
An all-purpose swear with no fixed meaning. Chiff-head (mean person), chiff-for-brains (stupid person), pile of chiff (useless), chiff-off (get lost, go away), to give a chiff (to care), chiff-you (general aggression), what-the-chiff (exclamation of surprise), chiff box (unpleasant, unliked, and full of chiff)…
Erinaceous snowflake
- A sharp-tongued and demanding person who is exceedingly difficult to please and, if given the choice, you would dearly love to bludgeon to death yet, for some reason, you must continue to treat as if they fart rainbows.
- A member of your family who you are required to give special treatment to but feel it would be best to take them out the back and percussively educate them.
- An elderly relative who must be handled carefully.
Erinaceous means something that resembles a hedgehog.
Foul Nosed Gilly Manderer
A person for whom you self-evidently have a strong dislike.
Fugging *
An all-purpose drop-in swear that sounds kind of mild while still being reasonably satisfying to say. As in fugging-hell, abso-fugging-lutely, and so forth.
Fug is a word that means a warm, stuffy or smoky atmosphere in a room.
Gadzookerist
One overly given to archaisms in everyday speech and thus asking for a very violent education in the common tongue. Possibly also a foul nosed gilly manderer.
Obganiater
The sort of person that robs you of your will to live by constantly monopolising your time to talk about the same fugging thing, over, and, over, and, over… Oh dear gar, kill me now!
Obganiate means to irritate someone by constantly repeating oneself
Unwissender Affe
Literally from the German meaning “ignorant ape” because German is such a great language for inventing new swears, apparently. Potential variant forms include Unwisnderaffe or Unwistneraffe both of which are entirely fictional corruptions.
Urine Thief
One that has gone too far and is taking liberties.
Want more fictional rude words?
These words come from the Fictional Dictionary of Bad Language which was compiled and mostly invented by yours truly. You are free to use these words in your own work if you credit me. (A mention of the dictionary in the dedication is fine).
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